Thoughts on Trauma: Reclaiming the Music of Your Life
Maybe you’ve found yourself unable to move forward, stuck in a loop of overwhelming emotions, distracting behaviors, or a fog of self-doubt.
Imagine your life as a vinyl record.
Every moment, every memory, every experience is etched into its grooves, creating the song of your life. But trauma? Trauma presses into that vinyl so deeply it creates a rut—one where the needle gets stuck, replaying the same note of pain, fear, or shame.
Maybe you’ve felt that.
Maybe you’ve found yourself unable to move forward, stuck in a loop of overwhelming emotions, distracting behaviors, or a fog of self-doubt.
Here’s the truth I want to share with you:
You don’t have to erase the groove, but you can smooth it out.
First of all, what is Trauma?
Trauma is an imprint from a moment when life overwhelmed our ability to cope—a time when our systems for navigating the world just couldn’t keep up. That might have been a "big T" trauma like abuse. Or it could have been a "little T" trauma—like ongoing criticism.
Both kinds leave a mark.
As Dr. Gabor Maté says, “Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.”
What makes trauma so challenging is that it rewires how we see everything.
It alters our emotions, behaviors, and even our physical bodies. It can distort how we view ourselves, making us feel less capable, less worthy, or less loved. This distortion often plays out in three ways:
First, there’s the emotional manifestation. Trauma can bring unpredictable floods of emotions, making you feel the same overwhelm you did in the original moment. This is why many people turn to numbing behaviors—alcohol, food, or distractions like incessant scrolling. It’s all an attempt to escape the emotional tidal wave.
Second, there’s the behavioral manifestation. Trauma often shows up in habits of avoidance or distraction—keeping busy, overworking, or turning to things like video games to avoid the pain.
Finally, there’s the mental manifestation. This is where trauma can distort our perception of ourselves and the world. It filters everything through the lens of pain, keeping us stuck in a place where we second-guess ourselves or struggle to trust others.
I want you to hear me:
Trauma is not a sign of weakness.
It’s not a reflection of your character or worth. Trauma simply reflects the overwhelming nature of the event itself, not the person who endured it.
If this resonates with you, here’s a starting point for healing:
First, acknowledge the groove.
Healing begins when we have the courage to say, “Yes, this happened. Yes, it hurt.” Acknowledgment is powerful. It’s the first step in freeing yourself from the grip of that deep imprint.
Second, practice self-compassion.
Be kind to yourself. Remember, trauma isn’t your fault. The responses you’ve had—whether emotional, behavioral, or mental—are part of how your system tried to cope. You are not broken. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend who has been through something hard.
Finally, lean into connection.
Healing happens in community. Trauma often makes us want to withdraw, to separate ourselves because we feel flawed or ashamed. But over and over, the research says the opposite: Community heals. Whether it’s through a support group, a trusted friend, or a faith community, connection is essential.
Healing isn’t linear—it’s messy, it takes time, and it happens in fits and starts. But it is possible. And you are worth the effort.
Friend, trauma doesn’t have to define your story.
Yes, it leaves an imprint, but that groove doesn’t have to trap you. With small, intentional steps, you can smooth it out and reclaim the music of your life.
Warmly,
Mike