Surprising Source of Burnout (and how to fix it)

Don't worry, this isn't your cliche "take a vacation" advice.

Most people think the "fix" for burnout is getting more rest.

But they're missing something underneath the surface.

We have to get to the bottom of this.

I've seen burnout derail careers, strain relationships, and steal joy from even the most passionate people. It doesn't have to be this way. By understanding the root cause, you can not only avoid burnout but fuel your growth and unlock your unique relational superpower.

So what’s the true cause of burnout?

Your Scramble

The Scramble is the exhausting dance we do when we try to force a "yes" to our Primal Question.

When you're in the Scramble, you use unhealthy coping mechanisms to meet your deepest emotional needs. Whatever your Scramble looks like, it's fueled by that nagging feeling that you're not enough - not safe enough, not loved enough, not successful enough. And let me tell you, it requires a massive amount of energy.

It's the hidden force behind most cases of burnout I've seen in my years of coaching.

Here's the problem with just prescribing "more rest" for burnout:

It's like putting a band-aid on a broken arm.

Sure, rest is important. But getting 10 hours of sleep at night won’t make you feel like you’re good enough. If you don’t address the underlying cause of your burnout - your unmet apex emotional need - you're setting yourself up for another cycle of exhaustion.

Your apex emotional need (represented by your Primal Question) is the true source of your burnout.

So, what should you do instead?

Start living in your Primal Truth.

Your Primal Truth is the powerful, positive statement that answers your Primal Question.

It's not something you have to earn or prove - it's already true about you. When you live from this place, you no longer scramble to meet your deepest needs. Instead, you operate from a place of emotional security and strength.

Let's get practical.

Here's how each Primal Question leads to burnout.

(And a simple practice to help you live in your Primal Truth)

Q1 (Am I safe?): You might burn out from constant hyper-vigilance, always preparing for the worst-case scenario. Practice: Start each day by listing three reasons you're safe right now.

Q2 (Am I secure?): You could overwork because you feel financially insecure. Practice: Create a daily habit of checking your savings or investments, reminding yourself that you have what you need to feel secure today.

Q3 (Am I loved?): You might exhaust yourself people-pleasing to feel worthy of love. Practice: Keep a journal of genuine compliments and acts of love you receive from the people who love you most.

Q4 (Am I wanted?): You could burn out trying to be indispensable at work or in relationships. Practice: Regularly remind yourself of your inherent value.

Q5 (Am I successful?): You might push yourself to unhealthy limits chasing achievements. Practice: End each day by acknowledging three small wins, regardless of their size.

Q6 (Am I good enough?): Perfectionism could lead you to burnout. Practice: Daily, identify one area where "good enough" truly is good enough.

Q7 (Do I have a purpose?): You might exhaust yourself trying to make a significant impact. Practice: Keep a "purpose journal," noting even small ways you've positively affected others each day.

Do you notice a trend?

These practices aren't about denying your Primal Question.

They're about answering it with a resounding "yes" every day so you can operate from your Primal Truth instead of burning out in the Scramble.

You might still slip into the Scramble sometimes, but with practice, you'll spend more time living from your Primal Truth. And that's where the magic happens - less burnout, more energy, and a greater capacity to share your unique gifts with the world.

You've got this, friend.

It's time to stop the Scramble, embrace your Primal Truth, and show burnout the door.

Warmly,

Mike Foster