My Most Embarrassing Keynote Moment

Here are the lessons I wish every aspiring speaker knew before stepping on stage.

Hey friend,

Welcome back to the Primal Question Newsletter.

If this is your first time here, join thousands of growth-minded friends who read along each week. I write this weekly newsletter to help people accelerate transformation in their lives using The Seven Primal Questions.

Today’s newsletter is a little bit different.

I want to tell you about the most embarrassing moment of my speaking career…

I was mid-sentence in front of 3,000 people when he stood up and yelled at me.

It was a Sunday morning. I was on stage guest speaking at a large church. The stage lights were blazing, and I could feel their heat on my skin. They were shining down on me so bright I could hardly see the faces in the audience, so I tried to stay in the zone and focus on my talk.

Until all of a sudden, a man stood up and stopped me…

“Hey, do you think we could maybe pause and pray for this guy that's being wheeled out on the stretcher?”

I looked around, completely confused. "What? What guy? What stretcher?"

I squint out into the crowd, and that's when I see them. Paramedics in their bright uniforms, rolling a stretcher right down the center aisle of the auditorium. Medical equipment beeping. The works.

Apparently, someone had collapsed during my talk.

I was so laser-focused on delivering my message that I completely missed this entire medical emergency unfolding right in front of me.

The whole place went silent.

3000 people staring at me with a mixture of shock and disbelief. The worst part? My entire message was about how we need to care for people. I was talking about compassion and connection, while someone was literally being wheeled out on a stretcher, and I didn't even notice.

I have never wanted to disappear more in my entire life.

Why am I telling you this? It might seem like I'm trying to discourage you from ever getting on a stage by sharing this horror story, but I'm not. I'm actually trying to encourage you.

This is pretty much the worst possible case scenario, and I'm still here. I'm still living and breathing, and I still give talks that help people. If I can survive humiliation in front of 3,000 people while talking about the exact opposite of what I was demonstrating, you can handle whatever speaking nerves you're dealing with.

I share that story because I know some of you are thinking about keynote speaking.

Maybe you're already coaching or consulting, and you want to reach more people. Share your message with bigger audiences. Build your reputation. Create some new revenue. Help more people. You know keynote speaking is a great way to accomplish all these things (and it is).

But you're terrified.

• What if you're no good at it?

• What if no one laughs at your jokes?

• What if you forget what you wanted to say?

• What if they think you don't belong up there?

• What if you embarrass yourself like I did?

We all have these primal fears rattling around in our minds, so when you finally get your shot, you do what every scared speaker does. You make the biggest mistake in the game.

The Biggest Mistake: Trying to Look Good

The biggest mistake speakers make is trying to look good instead of trying to help people.

I see this all the time. Someone gets their first keynote opportunity, and they immediately start thinking about how they need to "become a speaker." They watch TED talks. They re-listen to their favorite speakers and try to copy their style. They practice dramatic pauses in the mirror. They obsess over having perfect slides, music, and lights.

It's the dog and pony show.

All bells and whistles.

Before you step on any stage, you need to get crystal clear about what you're trying to accomplish. What does success look like to you? Most of us, if we’re honest, have fantasy-sized, unrealistic expectations…

• A standing ovation

• People telling us how great we are

• Life-changing transformation for everyone

• New clients lining up

• Book sales through the roof

None of that's bad, but it’s probably not very helpful. Most of it is "Scramble behavior,” rooted in Kid Logic. I slip back into this stuff too, wanting the audience to answer my Primal Question of "Am I safe?" with a yes. But I have to ground myself in the Primal Truth: I am safe. I already have a yes. I do not need a yes from this crowd. I'm here to serve this crowd.

Here's what realistic success, rooted in Adult Wisdom, really looks like: People walk away saying, "That was helpful."

That’s it. That’s the win. You might not get a standing ovation. You might not make millions. You probably won’t shift the tectonic plates of the universe, but if you can get people to say, “That was helpful,” You did your job.

With that goal in mind, I want to share…

5 Helpful Pointers I've Learned From 25 Years of Speaking

Pointer #1: Remember, They're Already on Your Side

I learned this from Jen Hatmaker when we were backstage together at an event.

I must have looked nervous because she turned to me and said, "Just remember, they're already on your side." That completely changed everything for me. I used to think I had to get on stage and win the audience over, like I was going into battle. I'd spend all my energy trying to prove myself worthy of their attention.

But think about it. They already showed up.

They carved time out of their lives to hear what you have to say. They're already rooting for you. When you realize they want you to succeed, your entire energy shifts. You’re free to stop proving and start serving.

Pointer #2: Give Them One Big Idea

Here's the reality: your audience will remember one thing from your talk.

Not three. Not five. A year from now, when someone asks them about your keynote, they'll recall one concept, one story, or one moment that stuck. If that's inevitable, why not design your entire talk around that one powerful idea? Strip away everything that doesn't support your main message.

Complexity is the enemy of memorable keynotes.

Pointer #3: Give Them a Tool

Every keynote should deliver something practical.

Not just inspiration or information—something they can use in real life when they get home. I always think about delivering a simple tool: a framework they can apply, a question they can ask themselves, or a concept they can draw on a napkin to explain to someone else.

The most helpful thing you can do is move people from "That was interesting" to "I know exactly what to do to apply this to my life."

Pointer #4: Only Speak What You Actually Believe

This one's non-negotiable.

It might sound obvious, but you’d be surprised how easy it feels to say yes to any and every request, especially early on. The moment you get on stage and start talking about something you don't actually practice or fully believe in your gut, you lose all your power.

You have to live your content. Speak from your values. Share what you've actually learned through experience, not what sounds like it would make a good talk.

Pointer #5: Just Be Yourself (Don’t Skip This One)

When given the opportunity to speak on a stage, we have this weird tendency to want to change ourselves. To speak like our favorite speaker. To put on a persona. To become someone else.

We give in to a little lie that says, “Who you are right now isn’t enough to do a great job, so you need a new speaker identity.”

Friend, that's complete nonsense. The world doesn't need another copy of someone else. It needs the original you.

This is also unsustainable. I've been speaking for 25 years without burning out because I show up as myself. I don't have to manage a character or remember which version of Mike I'm supposed to be today. I walk on stage, and I’m just me.

I often feel like the anti-speaker because my energy is quite low, and my voice is sort of quiet. I don't use fancy visual effects. I just walk up there and try to have a conversation. Yet people keep inviting me back because I’m only focused on being helpful.

Here's What I Want You to Remember

If you can help one person, you can help a thousand people.

Speaking is just having a conversation with a larger group. Remember, they're on your side. Focus on one helpful idea. Give them something practical. Speak from your heart. Show up as yourself.

And please, for the love of all that's good, pay attention if paramedics show up.

Your message matters. Your experience has value. The world needs to hear what you have to say.

Stop waiting for permission and start serving people from the stage.

You got this,

Mike Foster

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Thanks so much for reading 🙌

P.P.S. By the way, my new Primal Question PRO certification launches soon, and one of the modules teaches you how to give powerful keynotes using the Primal Question framework. There are only 20 spots available, and 300+ people have joined the waitlist.

For the best shot at securing a spot, join the waitlist here to get the registration link 24 hours before everyone else.