How to Spot and Silence Your Inner Critic
Our Inner Critic likes to show up, uninvited, as an authority in our minds, but we don’t have to let it have the final say.
I recently worked with a client who was battling that familiar voice in their head.
You know the one—it’s relentless, always in the background, feeding you a steady stream of doubt and discouragement. This voice, the Inner Critic, had a lot to say about their dreams, goals, and even their self-worth. “Who do you think you are?” it whispered. “You’ll never be good enough.”
We’ve all heard that voice.
Our Inner Critic likes to show up, uninvited, as an authority in our minds.
But we don’t have to let it have the final say. Today, I want to help you identify one of the most common patterns of your Inner Critic’s voice, a way it tries to shrink your life and limit your potential.
It’s called black-or-white thinking.
Why Black-or-White Thinking Holds You Back
Our minds are designed for creativity and imagination.
They’re wired to dream, to explore, and to create. But when that creativity gets “corrupted,” it becomes negative chatter. And that chatter often speaks in extremes. Thoughts like:
“I always mess up.”
“I’ll never get this right.”
“If I don’t succeed here, I’ll fail at everything.”
The Inner Critic has good intentions. When it uses black-or-white thinking, it’s trying to pull us back into our comfort zone. If it can make life feel smaller, and keep us from trying, then it can hold us in a place of “safety.”
But here’s the thing: this “safety” is a trap.
It’s a small cage, and it’s standing in the way of your growth.
Black-or-white thinking blocks our vision, decreases opportunities, and keeps us from stepping into our full potential. When you start to recognize this pattern, though, you can stop it in its tracks.
How to Quiet Black-or-White Thinking
Here are three simple steps to spot when your Inner Critic is in the driver’s seat and how to turn down the volume on that black-or-white thinking:
1. Recognize the Extremes
Start by noticing when your thoughts go to extremes.
Anytime you catch yourself saying, “I always fail at this,” or “I’ll never get this right,” your Inner Critic is likely the one talking. Black-or-white thinking loves words like always and never, and it’s often repetitive, just saying the same thing again and again to wear you down. Write down a few of these phrases that you’ve noticed yourself thinking. Putting them on paper can help you recognize the pattern and distance yourself from it.
2. Turn Questions into Statements
The Inner Critic loves to ask questions (and not the good kind.)
Its questions are accusatory and nebulous, things like, “How did you ever think you’d succeed at this?” The trouble with these questions is that they’re hard to challenge directly. Instead, turn those questions into statements. Change “How could you ever think you’d succeed?” to “You can’t succeed.”
Now, you have something concrete to investigate.
Ask yourself: is this thought accurate? Is it complete? Does it actually help me? Maybe the Inner Critic says, “You haven’t made any real progress.” That’s just pure B.S., right? When you look at the actual facts, you can see where you’ve grown.
Recognizing the facts weakens the power of the Inner Critic’s story and helps you rewrite the narrative.
3. Shift Toward Nuance
Black-or-white thinking leaves no room for growth.
The Inner Critic feeds on that narrow view. So, let’s bring some nuance back into the conversation. If you catch yourself saying, “I’ll never get this right,” try shifting that to something more balanced, like, “I’ve struggled with this before, but I can learn and grow.”
Shifting from extreme to balanced thinking isn’t just a mental trick; it’s actually rewiring your brain. When you start catching yourself in black-or-white thoughts and reframe them, you’re training your brain to embrace more possibility, more hope, and more resilience.
Friend, your Inner Critic doesn’t have to run the show.
Spotting black-or-white thinking is one of the most powerful ways to loosen its grip. When you start catching those extreme thoughts, you’ll feel a little more freedom, a little more breathing room. And that’s where real growth begins.
Today, take one of those black-or-white statements and challenge it.
Turn it into something more complete, more balanced, and closer to the truth. Remember, the Inner Critic is just one small voice inside of you, not the whole story. You don’t have to give it any power over your life.
Warmly,
Mike Foster