7 Types of Emotional Kryptonite (With Annie Downs)
Discover which of these 7 pieces of Kryptonite are sabotaging your life.
Do you know your Kryptonite?
Whether you realize it or not, we all have one.
If you’ve ever wondered…
Why am I so stressed about money when I know logically I have enough in the bank?
Why am I so hypervigilant at night even though I live in a safe, suburban neighborhood?
Why can’t I let myself rest, even though I know I desperately need a break?
…chances are, you haven’t identified your Kryptonite.
Last year, I joined my friend Annie F. Downs on her podcast, That Sounds Fun.
We talked about the Seven Primal Questions, how they drive our lives, and how they shape our relationships. You can watch the full episode here, but today, I want to focus on one part of our conversation that doesn’t get a lot of attention…
How to identify and disarm your Kryptonite.
What is Kryptonite?
Superman is practically invincible.
He can fly. He can lift cars. He can shoot laser beams from his eyes. But he has one weakness—a green rock called Kryptonite.
He can disarm an entire army of bad guys without even trying… but put a tiny piece of Kryptonite near him, and suddenly, he’s powerless. Weak. Vulnerable. He’s not himself anymore.
The same is true for you and me.
The problem?
Most of us have no idea what our Kryptonite is.
That’s why we go through life and suddenly feel ZAPPED.
You walk out of a performance review and feel like you need to lie down for two hours.
You hear someone had a party and didn’t invite you, so you start questioning if anyone likes you.
You don’t close a big deal at work, so you work 10x harder to avoid looking like a failure.
And you wonder, “What the heck just happened? Why did that impact me so much?”
Chances are your Primal Question was answered with a NO.
The Primal Question & Your Kryptonite
If you’re not familiar with the Primal Question, here’s how it works:
✅ Every human has a Primal Question—the deepest emotional need that shapes their thoughts, actions, and relationships.
✅ When that question is answered with a YES, we feel grounded, at peace, and secure.
✅ When it’s answered with a NO, we enter the Scramble—our unhealthy coping mechanisms that try to force the answer back to a yes.
Your Kryptonite is the specific experience that triggers your biggest fear—the moment that makes you feel like you just got a NO to your Primal Question.
For example…
If your question is "Am I wanted?", your Kryptonite is rejection.
If your question is "Am I safe?", your Kryptonite is unpredictability.
If your question is "Am I successful?", your Kryptonite is failure.
When Kryptonite hits, we Scramble.
We people-please, overwork, control, shut down, avoid, prove, strive.
One way Annie said her Scramble shows up is through social media.
She admitted, “I don’t even care about Instagram numbers. So why am I suddenly obsessed with them?”
For weeks, she found herself fixating on her Instagram follower count because it kept fluctuating between 263,000 and 264,000. She knew in her head that followers don’t determine her worth, but it didn’t feel that way in the moment.
Her Primal Question—“Am I wanted?”—was being answered with a yes one day and a no the next.
She told me, “I’ve always been able to ignore that stuff, but when it’s right in front of me, it suddenly feels like rejection.”
That’s how the Scramble works—we try to force the world to answer our Primal Question with a YES. But it never works because if you need the world to answer your question with a yes, you are also at the mercy of their NO.
How to Disarm Your Kryptonite & Unlock Your Superpower
Step 1: Identify Your Kryptonite
(You can’t fight an enemy you don’t see.)
The first step is awareness. Take the Primal Question Quiz here.
What’s the thing that instantly sends you into your Scramble?
Is it criticism?
Is it being left out?
Is it uncertainty about the future?
Annie realized that seeing her follower count drop—even just a little—felt like rejection. And rejection is her Kryptonite. Once she saw it for what it was, she could stop making Instagram the scoreboard for her worth.
If you take a step back and look at your own life, you might find patterns like this too.
Step 2: Recognize the Scramble When It Starts
(Your reaction isn’t random—it’s a pattern.)
During our conversation, Annie shared how this also plays out in her personal life.She talked about the moments when she feels unwanted, and how that can make her react in ways that don’t serve her.
“If you don’t want me, you don’t want me. That doesn’t mean I’m unwanted.”
^ That right there is a POWERFUL realization. It helped her step out of her Scramble and stop overanalyzing things that, in reality, weren’t rejection at all.
The next time you find yourself spiraling, overworking, or numbing out, pause and ask yourself:
What just triggered this reaction?
What Primal Question is being answered with a “No”?
If you can catch it in the moment, you can stop the Scramble before it starts.
Step 3: Replace Your Question With a Truth Statement
(You don’t have to keep asking the world for a “Yes.”)
Superman doesn’t have to let Kryptonite take him down.
And you don’t either.
Once you recognize your Primal Question, the next step is to stop asking it—and instead, declare the truth.
Instead of asking, “Am I wanted?”, you remind yourself:
👉 I am wanted.
Instead of asking, “Am I safe?”, you tell yourself:
👉 I am safe.
Instead of asking, “Am I successful?”, you declare:
👉 I am enough, no matter what I achieve.
This is your Primal Truth—the thing that no rejection, no failure, no uncertainty can take away from you.
Your Kryptonite doesn’t get to control you anymore.
So here’s your challenge for the week:
1️⃣ Identify one situation that recently triggered your Kryptonite.
2️⃣ Notice the Scramble—what pattern do you fall into?
3️⃣ Write down your Primal Truth, and start declaring it every time you feel triggered.
The more you identify your Kryptonite, the less power it has over you.
You’re not at the mercy of your wounds anymore.
You get to live free.
So… what’s your Kryptonite?
Talk soon,
Mike
Watch my full conversation with Annie Downs:
This article delves into the concept of "emotional kryptonite," identifying seven types of emotional challenges that can drain our energy and affect our decision-making. The piece offers insightful observations on how these emotional pitfalls can sabotage productivity, relationships, and well-being. It's a great reminder of the importance of emotional intelligence and awareness in both personal and professional settings. A thought-provoking read for anyone looking to better understand and manage their emotional landscape.