3 Steps to Find Firm Footing When Life Feels Uncertain
So many people are stuck in uncertainty.
They're facing big decisions about their careers, wrestling with relationship challenges, or questioning their next steps in life. The questions keep them up at night, the "what ifs" swirling in their minds like an endless storm:
What if I don't get the job?
What if the relationship doesn't work out?
What if? What if? What if?
When you're living in the world of "what if," life feels unstable, wobbly, and unpredictable. After a while, you start to wonder if there's anything truly solid to grab onto at all. All the so-called "solutions" out there feel less like a lifeline and more like grabbing onto jello.
Today, I want to share something different that feels like solid ground.
During a recent training inside the Primal Question Coach Certification, our Master Coach, Leigh Smith shared a tool that stopped me in my tracks. When she started explaining the "What If Then" framework, I knew this was something special. She had found a way to transform those nagging "what if" questions from sources of anxiety into pathways to empowerment.
Here's something fascinating:
Every Primal Question has a future "what if" attached to it:
What if I'm not safe?
What if I'm not secure?
What if I'm not good enough?
What if I fail?
These questions surface when we're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or uncertain about our future. Left unchecked, these fears can keep us stuck in cycles of indecision and self-doubt, avoiding growth opportunities altogether. But it doesn't have to be this way.
By following these steps, you can transform your "what ifs" into solid action plans.
How to Find Solid Ground When Everything Feels Uncertain
Step 1: Define Your "What If"
The first step is simple but powerful: take that swirling question in your mind - the one keeping you up at night - and put it down on paper. Don't try to analyze it yet. Don't try to solve it. And definitely don't try to push it away.
The more specific you can make this "what if," the easier it becomes to address.
Step 2: Map Out Three Possible Outcomes
Under your "what if," create three sections:
Positive Outcomes: These are scenarios where your hopes or goals are realized. While they might seem straightforward, they still benefit from intentional planning. It's about maximizing success and sustaining momentum.
Neutral Outcomes: These outcomes neither significantly improve nor diminish your current position. While they might seem uneventful, they hold incredible potential for growth. They help you stay grounded and focused without extreme highs or lows.
Challenging Outcomes: These represent perceived setbacks or difficulties, often tied to your fear of failure. This is where the real transformation happens.
Let me show you how this works in real life.
One of Leigh's clients was wrestling with a potential promotion. His "What If" was clear: "What if I don't get this promotion?" When he explored the "Then" for each outcome, here's what emerged:
Positive: "If I get the promotion, then I will focus on building my leadership skills."
Neutral: "If things stay the same, then I will continue building my skill sets and identify other ways to grow professionally."
Challenging: At first he said, "If I don't get the promotion, then my life is over."
But through the framework, he reframed it to: "If I don't get the promotion, then I'll focus on networking and exploring other opportunities."
Step 3: Add Specific Action Steps
This is where the magic happens. The framework transforms from a thinking exercise into real momentum. For each outcome, create a "Steps" box with concrete actions. These aren't vague intentions but specific, actionable commitments that move you forward regardless of what happens.
Write down what specific actions you're going to take in each scenario.
Do you see how powerful this is?
When you follow this process, you don't have to fear the unknowns. You take those "what ifs" and transform them into action plans, regardless of what happens. Because no matter what happens to you, you always have the ability to choose how you respond.
One Simple Step You Can Take Today
Pull out a piece of paper and write down your biggest "what if" at the top.
Just that one step will start turning your fear into clarity. Instead of avoiding challenges, you'll begin to see them as opportunities for growth. Get them out of your head and onto paper.
Remember, those "what if" questions aren't the enemy. They're actually doorways to deeper understanding and growth - if you know how to use them.
Warmly,
Mike Foster